I have created a rough edit in order to establish the correct sequence and which shots will be removed from the final edit. As well as this, this rough edit allows me to get suggested improvements from my target audience and gives me an opportunity to refine my ideas and explore new ones.
TARGET AUDIENCE FEEDBACK
Positive
'I like how, when the other person walks into him, the main character is transformed back to reality. Also, it looks powerful how there is a slight disjuncture about it as it adds to the chaos that the protagonist is currently experiencing'.
'The part in which they are texting gives us as the audience more context behind the argument however still leaves us asking more questions constantly keeping us engaged'.
Improvements
'The transition that is achieved by the tree blocking the frame looks really effective however the separate shots are a bit jumpy so it could be smoother'. I will resolve this by adding a transition in between the two shots as well as trying to line up the different shots of the tree with one another.
'There a part in which the couple are walking however there is a pause at the start'. As this isn't good for continuity, I will cut the clip later on to ensure that they are already walking.
'The texting scene drags out a bit and isn't as fast paced and intriguing as the rest of the music video'. *
'I think its a bit pointless, at the end, to feature the different clips of him running because it just wastes time'. Taking this into consideration, I want to still use of the clips but intertwine them with each other so as he moves forwards the location changes behind him.
PERSONAL REFLECTION
I want to make the walking scene at the beginning look effectual by ensuring that they are continuous - that Ashley remains centralised with most nothing changing apart from the background in order to convey a sense of progression from one place to another.
To make it have a larger impact, I will make the transition at 0:22 more abrupt by cutting the singular shots shorter.
*During the phone scene, I fear that I may lose the attention from the audience as it is prolonged which could be deemed as dull and monotonous. To prevent this from occurring, I will increase the speed of them texting so its a shorter text. Additionally, I want to explore ways in which I can feature the two separate scenes (Ashley on the bench and Paula on her bed) to run next to each other concurrently. By having the scenes running simultaneously, I will be able to shorten the length of the overall scene.
Here is the journey I took in order to achieve a potent outcome:
1. Here are the shots situated side by side. My aim is to entwine the separate shots together to express the virtual conversation they are having.
2. I then placed the shots next to each other going from Ashley to Paula to Ashley again. Although the message is clearly expressed, it takes up a lot of screen time which I cannot afford to waste.
3. Here, I added a split screen by overlaying the sequences and cropping one scene so that it only fits in 50% of the screen. I will need to add transitions and rearrange footage in the screen to create an effective outcome.
4. By inserting a sliding transition, Paula smoothly and gradually appears on screen. I also positioned Ashley more to the left so that he is centralised in the middle of his half. I think that this is a powerful way to communicate the conversation that they are having as it enables the audience to witness the conversation and actions of the characters in real time.
